“Just set a boundary.” — For some, it’s not that simple.

“Just set a boundary,” people say. It sounds so simple, right? But for many, it’s not that easy. Setting boundaries can feel incredibly difficult, especially if we’ve spent much of our lives prioritizing others’ needs over our own. If you’ve ever found yourself feeling overwhelmed by the needs of others, or constantly putting your own feelings aside to make someone else happy, you're not alone. These patterns often develop from early life experiences — however, unlearning these patterns is possible.

If you’ve ever struggled with setting limits, you know it’s not as easy as it sounds. You feel the pull to say yes, even though you're already running on empty. The thought of saying no might stir up feelings of guilt or anxiety. This challenge often stems from patterns learned over time. Many of us were taught to prioritize others’ needs above our own, leaving us unsure of how to advocate for ourselves.

If our emotional needs were dismissed or we were shown that others’ feelings were more important, we may have learned to neglect our own in order to keep the peace or avoid conflict. This makes setting boundaries feel incredibly scary or even impossible.

Setting boundaries is a skill we often need to learn. It can begin with an exploration with a safe individual on what setting boundaries can look like, exploring how to know when it’s time to set a boundary, and everything in between. Setting boundaries is not about pushing people away; it’s about ensuring there’s room for you, too.

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